Cerulean Mornings

Hi! Yes yes, I disappeared again for a while. That seems to be the trend, eh? Disappearing for a few months at a time but never actually abandoning this journal. I consider this a win ahaha. Used to be if it gets consistently like this I'd just delete the whole thing and start over fresh. But for some reason, I always come back here after a while, no matter what. It's been 6 years and this journal is still here, active and paid for, so yeah, let's keep this one around, eh?

I do have some excuse for the past month to not be back, because I had my in-laws staying with me this entire time, and they were very stressful! Since this journal is mostly about me writing in fandom, well, obviously I did not get any writing done with that much stress. I didn't even get any fandom reading done, let alone anything else. So that's my excuse for being absent in the month of September. However, the months from May to August I had no excuse. I think I was trying to write ChengXian but then I got stuck plotting, and then life happened so I never got to the actual writing part. It's 100% my fault, and now, when it's almost October, I want to rectify that for realz. But! But but but. Not with ChengXian.

Why? Well, first of all I haven't read in fandom for a while, and I've never actually wrote in MDZS, so I am a little bit trepidatious about the whole thing. Second, I am trying to restart this whole "writing" bit, in general, and so I think trying to write characters accurately is stressing me out haha. I think it's better if I have a blanker slate, so yes, I could do my own characters and work at my actual novel, but that is even more scary as I haven't written in that for a long time either. *sigh* Anyway, the point is, I'm going to try to write in a fandom where it's more, forgiving, shall we say? In that it's a dead, small fandom and nobody cares if the people I write becomes a bit OOC. (Or at least I hope not 😅). Yeah...... Remember a while ago I talked about Saint Seiya? No? Good! Because I want to start off there! (It's in my tags if you actually want to bother finding out.) I actually brainstormed a crapload of plot - even got a pretty good Notion board out of it, but like with my ChengXian plot, I never put any words down. I think I've been paralyzed with not writing so long I've forgotten how to do it. Well then! That won't do! No time like the present to try to get back. It's a skill, right? Practice makes better (never expect perfect, that's just counter-productive thinking).

So hopefully I will talk about writing and fandom more here. I had started a writing side blog hoping to track my progress, but I think it just ended up being way too much. So I'm going to delete that blog and talk about writing here. I'm not sure what to do with my gaming side blog, either. I do use it but not nearly enough to warrant a whole blog for it, you know? I have a habit of starting many things and never finishing them, which is terrible, so I'm going to try to break that. The first step is to pare things down so I don't have too many obligations haunting me. They're very counter-productive in my case.

One last thing, I really want to join getyourwordsout this year. I missed the sign up by like a day or something last year. Will set myself a reminder for December.